How Much Longer Lord?

Since I was born again in 1983, it seems that the depression which I have battled against most of my life, only intensified as a child of God.  After I was saved, I had an unrealistic expectation that the church we attended would be perfect – everyone showing love to others – no conflicts.  To say that I was naive would be a great understatement.

I soon learned that we were simply sinners saved by grace, and many of us brought baggage from the world into the house of worship. After all, we are still in this sinful flesh and as Paul told us in the Word – his flesh warred against his spirit constantly.

 “For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do.  If, then, I do what I will not to do, I agree with the law that it is good.  But now, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me. For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) nothing good dwells; for to will is present with me, but how to perform what is good I do not find.  For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice.  Now if I do what I will not to do, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me” (Romans 7:15-20).

I believe that Paul was telling fellow Christians that our sinful flesh would often become an obstacle for us to do the will of God.  But that we must press on because we are no longer slaves to sin.  God indwelled us with the Holy Spirit. The Lord wants us to walk in the Spirit.


“Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful. And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works,  not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching”  (Hebrews 10:23-25).

I remember when we had such a wonderful church back in the 90’s.  Our preacher loved the Word of God and preached the whole  Word. He loved Israel, and I used to smile when he would see me in the hallway and ask “How’s my little Jewish girl?”  He loved that I was a Jewish believer.

Church was our second home

I also remember being so excited to go to this church – not just on Sunday morning, but on Sunday nights and on Wednesdays for prayer and choir practice.

I was working then and even though the hatred of my faith was apparent at work, it was nothing compared to the torturous hatred we are faced with today from the God haters.

That church was our second home – a refuge from the world.

It was so comforting to know that we were surrounded by people who adored our Lord Jesus.  I’m smiling through tears as I think about those days.

The death of our pastor

Pastor was only in his late thirties when he was stricken with cancer. He died within the year.  Our church fell apart. Scandals beyond belief and divisiveness tore apart this once vibrant and God honoring church.

Our home is in heaven

We often hear “This is not our home” and the truth of that becomes clearer by the day.  I don’t even like hearing about the news of the day. If it were not for Israel, I might not search news articles at all.

Each day which passes and we are still here, I tell myself that it’s just not the appointed time.  I ask Him “Lord, how much more can we bear?”  Then it dawns on me that our Father knows the exact day when we will hear the Trump of God and the shout of our Lord Jesus as He comes to gather us away!

For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of an archangel, and with the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And thus we shall always be with the Lord.  Therefore comfort one another with these words”  (1 Thessalonians 4:16-18).

Therefore Comfort one another with these words

Yes, we should be comforting one another with the words about the Rapture of the Bride of Christ. And we do.  As much as I love my FB brothers and sisters in Christ, it is becoming clearer to me that Jesus wants us to be in fellowship (face to face) especially in these last days.

Truth being preached from the pulpits is hard to find

Finding a church which preaches the whole counsel of God is challenging at best. No church on this earth will be perfect – they are made up of imperfect people. But we hunger for leadership who are not afraid to speak about Bible Prophecy!  The Bible is a book of Prophecy, and the pastors who are truly our shepherds under the Great Shepherd surely should be proclaiming the Whole Word of God!

My husband and I watch preachers whom we trust from youtube – not just on Sunday’s, but whenever we want to hear the Word of God and to be encouraged.

Back to fellowship

Is any of what I am saying ringing true for you, brethren?

Being encouraged to fellowship would not have been added to the Word of God if it were not vitally important for us.  And as the days grow darker and evil becomes incomprehensible, I am yearning to be in fellowship with those who are truly born again and doctrinally sound in their interpretation of Scripture.

Instead of sitting silently and crying out to God  “How much longer?”  wouldn’t it be so much better to be amongst others who are asking the Lord the very same thing?

There is so much apostasy in the world right now. And discernment surely does not abound within the body of Christ.  But should this keep us from searching for a group – even a home group – to come together to read the Word and to pray and to love our Lord Jesus and one another?

If we find that the group or the church has been hijacked by the false Social Justice movement – perhaps God will have brought us there to impart truth from the Word.  And if the Truth is not received, then we we will know that it is time to shake off the dust and move on in our search of fellowship.

Even a group of three or even two

I realize that many are not in the position to travel to church. I have thought that if I could find 1 or 2 sisters in Christ in my neighborhood – how glorious that would be to meet with them weekly to study the Word! I would open our home for this with much excitement.

How Long, O Lord?

From Psalm 13 (A psalm of David)

“How long, O Lord? Will You forget me forever?
How long will You hide Your face from me?
 How long shall I take counsel in my soul,
Having sorrow in my heart daily?
How long will my enemy be exalted over me?

 Consider and hear me, O Lord my God;
Enlighten my eyes,
Lest I sleep the sleep of death;
Lest my enemy say,
“I have prevailed against him”;
Lest those who trouble me rejoice when I am moved.

 But I have trusted in Your mercy;
My heart shall rejoice in Your salvation.
 I will sing to the Lord,
Because He has dealt bountifully with me”  (Psalm 13).

Most of us go to the Psalms when we are sad.  We can relate to King David when he talks about his enemies.  The most beautiful part of the Psalms is always the end, because the writer’s mind comes back to Mercy, Trust, Salvation, and hope  is again restored.

David would sing to the Lord because He had dealt bountifully with him. And the Lord would answer his question “How long…….”  by having David look back at his life and realize that the Lord had never left him – not ever.

Let us remember that He is with us and that He alone knows when the time will come.  Let us sing to the Lord and worship Him. Let us live each day as if He will come any time – perhaps today!

The world becomes more evil by the day, but our God never changes.

How Can I Be Saved?

Shalom b’Yeshua






17 thoughts on “How Much Longer Lord?

  1. I shared in my testimony on my blog about my own struggles with this. I mean when I first committed to Yeshua ben Yehovah, I too was expecting much. I had peace, and wanted to genuinely serand ve Him; then people turned me off. It was over a period of time, but eventually I went prodigal. I spent years in and out of the wilderness, once I did come back to my Father, (after a nasty encounter with a demon), mainly because of a) my work schedule I worked weekends, and b) I couldn’t find an assembly / kehilat / ekklesia that would feed my hunger. It was always the same boring routine every week, and most people seem still, to prefer that. It was only when I started encountering true meat via online sources (which I tested to know that) that I once again had my fires rekindled. The Ruach ha Qodesh led me in much the same way but not exactly the same, as Laurel our sister who had the blog (deleted by WordPress last month with no reason or warning) that was called 50shadesofpissedoff. I began to be interested in the “faith once delivered to the saints by the apostles” which I knew had been discouraged and off the radar so to speak for about 17 centuries. I learned much from cofyhwh (congregation of YHVH) but chewed the meat and spit out the bones. I ordered one of their “Hebraic Roots Bible – A Literal Translation” and was amazed at the differences between it and Imost bibles. Then I later found out about the Aleph Tav Cepher (et Cepher) and ordered one from – the Canadian outlet for in USA. I was happy to get one in order to read all the books (87) contained therein – including 1 Enoch, Jasher, Jubilees, and more. A side note – when I read Revelation chapter 1 (Chizayon) I was happy to see that from v8 to about v12, the translation from Hebrew actually showed that the Father and the Son are one. In v8 it says that YHVH spoke to Yochanon (John) saying “I AM the Aleph and the Tav, the first and the last, and the beginning and the end” (The Father is telling John that) then about v10 Yochanon tells us “I was in the Ruach on the day of YHVH, when I heard a voice behind me say” then he’s told to write letters to the 7 churches and when he turns around to see who’s talking to him, it’s Yeshua, who then says, “Fear not, I AM the beginning and the end, the Aleph and the Tav, the first and the last, the firstborn from the dead”. This excites me as it illustrates that as he said in his gospel , when quoting Yeshua, “I and the Father are One”.
    I was reading 4 Ezra aka 2 Esdras, and was surprised to see YHVH saying to Ezra, that He had run out of patience with Israel, due to their constant turning to false gods, constant complaining, and ingratitude. He listed how much He had done for them starting with deliverance from Egypt, and said ” I would have gathered them as a hen gathers her chickens under her wings, but they would not. So I will take My name to a people who know me not, who’ve never had prophets from Me to instruct them, yet they will repent and turn from their sins, and honour Me”. (It may not be word for word but it’s close as I’m doing so from memory. He also told Ezra that He will leave their house desolate.
    This immediately struck a chord and I flipped over to Matt. 23 where Yeshua sorrowfully says the same thing to Jerusalem.
    Sorry to be long Geri. but this is a small part of my continuing journey with Him.
    I do own KJV and Amplified but use the latter for going to services because it’s much lighter than the et Cepher. The KJV I haven’t used in years. I know that the ones who translated the original Hebrew scriptures to Greek were likely not Th.Ds because there are mistranslations. It’s ok as I know them, and am not fazed but do prefer other versions


  2. Pingback: How Much Longer Lord? — Absolute Truth from the Word of God | Gitardood's Weblog

  3. Totally understand, Geri!! I, too, listen online, and to add, dvds, and stay in the Word. Would love to find a church that is in the Word. Or, a home fellowship that truly worships God and reads/studies the Word. But, alas, I cannot even find a prayer partner. No one wants to commit to any thing.

  4. Reading this post made me think of my own young Christian day, I thought anyone going to church there’s no way they wouldn’t be saved seeing believers’ lives and love and the power of the Word preached. I came to church and there was a church split within a few months. Those troubled times at our church really forced me to grow.

  5. I’m in the same situation. I generally watch or listen to 5-6 sermons a week online. There is a church nearby that I know the preacher is a sound teacher, but it’s a large church and I don’t find that the teaching is very meaty. For example, he’s been teaching from Revelation but he is going chapter by chapter and just barely touching on the different subjects. Revelation is a wonderfully rich book and to barely scratch the surface is frustrating to me. He also makes remarks like “I know that there are some here who are pre-trib, mid-, post, whatever, but I’m not going to definitively say one way or the other that the rapture is at one of those times.” In other words he doesn’t want to cause dissension or upset anyone because he asserts what his beliefs are because if he does then that money coming in will just dry up. Okay, I’m making assumptions, but whatever happened to pastors taking a firm stand on what the scriptures actually say? He has also said that he has read hours and hours of other pastors opinions, notes, doctrines, etc, and this is the conclusion he has come to. What about listening to what the Holy Spirit is telling you as read the scriptures and compare them with other scriptures in the Bible? Fortunately, I’m getting fed through sermons and teachings online,

    It’s also hard to fellowship with the people there because of the size of the congregation.. I don’t want to say they are cliquish, but perhaps standoffish is a better way to describe them. I, too, would like to have someone to study together and fellowship with.

    Sorry for the length of this comment. I guess I just should have said, “I feel your pain.” =)

    1. Yes, I’ve seen a lot of cliquish behavior in churches too. I suppose that is human nature (think high school) but in the Lord that is truly not acceptable and counterproductive to fellowship. I would still love to have a small women’s Bible study in our home – or attend one nearby. If I had one in our home, I would show Adrian Rogers’ sermons every other week! Can’t wait to meet this brother in heaven.

    2. In reading your reply, it reminded me of a passage in Jeremiah 10 where YHVH says to Jeremiah, in v8, “for the people have altogether become stupid” and later in v21 He tells Jeremiah (Yirmeyahu) why by saying, ” the pastors have all become stupid because they HAVE NOT SOUGHT YHBH, therefore they will not be blessed and their flocks will be scattered”. (HRB). I explained to a rabbi I know well, that ministers go to seminaries and learn hermeneutics ie sermon preparation techniques. Unfortunately being largely bereft of the Jewish context / culture of those whom the Ruach Ha Qodesh inspired to write scripture, due to as I said 17 centuries of alienation and being immersed in Greco-Roman hermeneutics which alsoare quite different from Hebrew exegetical principles, they routinely prepare sermons that as He stated, are not the result of having sought Him and being led as Yeshua said before HIs ascension, by the Ruach (HS) who would lead them into all truth, that are mostly devoid of any anointing. (also, money does play a role as they don’t want people to leave and thus lose their donations).

  6. Sharon Oliveria

    Geri, You have a Very Sweet Spirit ! I experienced the same when as young 21 came to Jesus as an adult, gone to church all my Life but a time to Repent & Accept Jesus with total knowledge of what it means to be saved.

    I was so full of the Joy of the Lord, and young other’s didn’t like I was so happy & Joyful about Jesus & being Born-Again, they didn’t want me smiling & Joyful, it hurt, I couldn’t understand it .

    But Church time was wonderful & we had special speaker’s coming in Real Christian Ho-down’s In the Spirit LOL there go’s that smile & Joy speaking !

    But I had to some years later movie to a large City where they didn’t have the special speaker’s nor could I find a Home Church turning to TV Minister’s . Then Net U-Tube . & many TV Minister’s have fallen away.

    God has told us to write the Scripture’s on the Tables of Our Hearts, to give answer to any one come asking what is the Hope you Have within.

    Do You Know the Music group “LAMB” ? Christian-Completed Jew

    Joel & David, well Joel anyway helped me so much during dry days in The Valley, I poured myself in The Music being a Vocalist sang the song’s of “LAMB” the Holy Spirit so indwell the Songs Like ” The Sacrificed Lamb “, “Who Will You Blame”, “Come Dance With Me” A Call to Holy Spirit to come, come dance with Me, Deeply Spiritual Song, “The Later Rain” Come Fall on Me Later Rain fill us with your Love ,your Joy Holy Spirit , If I could I would send you these Song’s they are on U-Tube

    I wish You had my E-Mail & I Had yours.

    I too! have a Heart for Israel , The People, the Music the Land we one day will all Journey to once a year to Worship Jesus, and King David, from a Little Boy to King has been a Fav of Mine He King David will be King over Israel in the 1,000 Year rein of Christ Jesus when Heaven is brought down to the New Earth, we will have been in Heaven for a long time In our Spiritual Body’s & will be in Spiritual body’s when we come to The New Earth with Jesus.

    One of the Jewish -Christian Songs I think you would love it starts out in the Market Place, sounds of the People & then the S-Sound & Jewish language sings, then English Its very Moving . We had Obama not good at all, In Israel there have been bad one’s too! but we support Israel & Pray for the peace of Jerusalem One day Jew & Gentile will be one One In Jesus, one in the Spirit. One the same . We pray for our Pres Trump & His Family for God to Protect Him In Jesus Name

    Nice talking with your Geri May the Lord of Heaven bring you Many Blessing

    Sharon E-mail

    On 9/19/18, Absolute Truth from the Word of God

  7. Brian

    Keep looking for an assembly. Keep in mind you will NEVER find a perfect church. If you do. The moment YOU enter it will cease to be perfect. Home groups are all well and good too. Once they grow, make sure you have some covering from a parent organization for accountability.

    As for doctrines not core to our Christian faith and salvation, don’t get caught up and put off. I don’t agree 100% with everyone at my congregation of every little dot and jot. But, they nevertheless are my family.

    Romans 14:5-6 (NASB)
    5 One person regards one day above another, another regards every day alike. Each person must be fully convinced in his own mind.
    6 He who observes the day, observes it for the Lord, and he who eats, does so for the Lord, for he gives thanks to God; and he who eats not, for the Lord he does not eat, and gives thanks to God.

    1. That’s funny that you mentioned that as soon as we would enter a church, it would cease to be perfect. I have heard that for so many years, and almost placed it in the article! LOL

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