PART 2
I had no contact with Mom for at least 10 yrs although she only lived about 12 miles away. Dad had remarried & I had as well & divorced. I would have to pass Mom’s house to get to Dad’s. They lived about 2miles apart.
Then lately I would get kind of a spiritual nudge to stop (don’t ignore those) as I passed by & visit her but I ignored it because I never felt welcome. Anyway the nudging kept persisting, so I pulled into her driveway 1 evening & knocked on her door. Immediately her “killer” German Shep went nuts inside. I knew she had a gun too cuz everybody, she thought was out to get her. In time she peeped thru the reveal hole in the door & wanted to know who it was & I introduced myself as “her oldest son”. Slowly, cautiously the door cracked opened & I was invited in after the mutt was put away & I got a thorough visual inspection. U’d think I was selling magazines door to door or worse. Anyway we had a verbal non-threatening conversation & it did touch on the Lord. I was encouraged somewhat but I sensed her coldness.
I decided to leave & I gave her my ph#. That was my last visit with her. My last ph conversation with her evolved into me being the enemy again just like “all the rest of us men”. Mentally I threw up my hands at any chance of reconciliation. I felt a load off my shoulders. Any guilt or wondering how I messed it all up disappeared in an instant. I gave the Lord credit for that as well. I had tried & obeyed God to try 1 more time.
Not long after that conversation she had a stroke & lay on her hallway floor for a few days b4 anyone checked on her & called the police to get in there.
They ambulanced her to the hospital but she died sometime afterwards. My brother had been assigned executor of her will & she made him promise not to tell me anything until after she died. I was still persona non grata. My bro told me later that prior to her stroke she had cut me out of her will but at the last minute put me back in which had to be the Lord working. I didn’t know about any of those things.
She was a Christian so even we can hate to the max for no reason..that’s a scary thought to harbor that kind of devilish stuff & still praise the Lord too.
I guess there’s more to tell but this is enough except I still don’t know why she hated so much. Maybe some of you have “been there, done that”. Jesus is your & my answer to that situation.
My pt in all this is just to say if u know Jesus as your Savior & Lord, He has promised to NEVER leave us or forsake us. That’s a HUGE comfort even amidst the ones u feel close to when they make u the enemy. Once you are saved Jesus will NEVER be your enemy…ur his adopted son…forever & u have a new forever, eternal family who love u just like Jesus. That’s the bestest family everyone desires the mostest & u only get it from Jesus.
The hymn, “What a friend we have in Jesus..” is the greatest understatement of all time. If ur not familiar with that hymn, Google it & find some comfort in the words. Then get yourself saved! Join the family of God!
Sometimes fellowship simply isn’t possible. Sad and tragic. Perhaps that’s what the apostle Paul had in mind when he wrote in 1 Cor 5, “But now I have written to you not to keep company with anyone who’s called a brother, who is sexually immoral, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or an extortioner—not even to eat with such a person.” A reviler is an abusive person, what we might call a narcissist or borderliner nowadays. Even if someone ‘calls’ themselves a brother, such persistent unrepentant behavior on their part can cause others to avoid their company.
This is such a blessing to read. Thank you.
After I noticed sundowning I attended support meetings for caregivers. One member told me she went to see her dying mother after 6 years of no contact. Her mother cussed her out. Mom and I disagreed on the covid vaccine and our relationship went off the rails. She died 7 months later without us working it out…I had taken her gun and the DFC found her stable a couple years earlier.so she got it back…but now I became the enemy…I choose not to see her as she was dying because I did not want to have that memory of her cussing me out. I hope for her salvation and I love her but not her behavior. Been there done that.
Thank you for sharing part of your story, I’m sorry your mom couldn’t be a real mother to you 😔 Life in a fallen world is not easy, I don’t know how people do it without the Lord. I’m glad you paid attention to those nudges and that you have the hope of seeing your mom again. Christians aren’t exempt from suffering of all kinds and mental illness is extremely tough on everyone. The irrationality causes such confusion and chaos. I’m grateful, The Lord gives strength to His people; the Lord blesses His people with peace.” — Psalm 29:11. We are also commanded to let the peace of God rule in our hearts, Colossians 3:15.
I don’t believe all mental illness is of the devil but he and his demons can certainly use the chaos and confusion to their advantage, but God! I’ve learned the power of praise is a mighty weapon and like you said to not harbor the bitterness (forgiveness.) Gods ways aren’t our ways but His ways bring peace and life. Shalom ya all!
When I read this article, I really had to ponder if God was trying to get me to see that I have not honored my father-in-law (we’ve had basically no contact in the last almost 4 years). I asked God if I really had to honor him, since he was my in-law (half-joking with the Lord).
After reading these comments, I’m feeling much better about me and my husband’s situation with falling out with his family. I really want to do the right thing, but it goes against everything inside of me when I think about reconciling. I’ll continue to pray and talk to God about it and to not ignore nudgings, if and when they happen.
Bless you all for sharing!