On:
I learned to ignore my mother while still honoring her as such. I didn’t hate her or hold a grudge but she was very vindictive & u could easily become the enemy with just a word. I became the enemy but it was never clear, why. No one really knew what the source of her problems were so I learned to avoid her because any attempt at a normal relationship would bring out the hate thing which was tiresome, nonproductive & if u didn’t agree with her then U would be the enemy as well.
Many times I wished I could have had the normal mom/son relationship but it was always a minefield not worth trespassing. I had better relations with my 2 step moms. However, I do think she’s in heaven & all things will be anew as they should be…so I look forward to that day.
It’s important to fix things in family as they come up in this life but all need to be reconcilable to that end with Jesus as our Counselor. Anyway that’s my 2 cents worth of life’s learning process. I learned thru Eph 4:30-32 to not let anger & bitterness get hold of my heart. It can be consuming & damage everyone around us including our relationship with Christ.
To Dale Vernon:
What a wise response on your part. You saved yourself a lot of painful& unnecessary stress/ grief. Thank you for sharing this very good advice, which if taken, will surely help someone . I wish I had it back in the day. But wisdom comes with age- for some, anyway.
I appreciate this response so much, as just this morning on my way to work, I asked God if reconciliation with my husband’s family is in the cards. We have distanced ourselves for various reasons, and I’ve been trying to sort through it and have wondered if I’m (we’re) being immature and unbiblical. I find it very painful specifically around my father-in-law and one sister-in-law. I prayed this morning that God will show us a way to reconciliation if that is the right thing to do. I asked God if I’ve been fooling myself by telling myself it’s too toxic to be around these people. It’s really been a hard thing to navigate through.