My Depression – The Thorn in My Side

Jeremiah 1

When I was born, my parents named me “Jerry” not “Geri.”  They named me after my Uncle Jeremiah.  Jews name children after those who are deceased.  The spelling of my name presented so many problems in school….on my swimming team (the other teams thought I was a boy)  and it just never ended. So, in my teens I changed the spelling to Geri (a nick name of sorts).  My father was not happy about this, but I thought that “Geri” was more feminine.  He finally accepted it.

I had no idea of the implication of my parents naming me after “Jeremiah” the crying prophet.   I was saved in 1983, and the depression I had fought since I was very young actually worsened.

There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t find myself in tears. I cry over my people Israel.  I want to take them in my arms and make them understand about the things which are to come.  But I know that I can’t.

Ephraim

An orthodox Jew from Israel sent me a request to be my friend on FB today. I accepted his friendship. Soon after, he invited me to become part of a FB group of people to pray for the building of the 3rd Temple. When I saw that, I could hardly breath.

I wrote to Ephraim. I told him that I am a Jewish believer in Yeshua (Jesus). I told him that I had much to tell him about this 3rd Temple and the one who will come and offer to help Israel to build this Temple. He has not responded.

He doesn’t understand. His eyes are not opened. Again I wept, knowing that this man very well may go through the Tribulation and will finally understand that this “savior” who will deceive my people, is really satan. I don’t know if Ephraim will be in the 2/3 who perish, or if he will escape to the hills.

Amir Tsarfati

I love Amir. God is using him in such an incredible way in Israel and around the world. I sent Amir Ephraim’s name and asked if he would befriend him.  I feel so inadequate to witness to Ephraim, but the Lord reminded me that I have His Holy Spirit indwelling me, and that He is with me always.

My depression

I used to ask God almost every day to take this sadness – this depression away from me. Alas – it is still here.  It is part of me. It makes me who I am in Christ. I am crying even as I write this piece.

Are you a Christian who suffers from depression?  Maybe God is telling us to embrace this and not to view it as a shortcoming in us. I have never taken antidepressants. Be sure that I am not telling anyone who is on these meds to stop. Listen to the Lord. It may be that you need help in getting through each day, and the meds may be needed at this time.

Hard times are coming but so is our Glorious Savior!

We who live in America have never seen our country in the condition it is in today. Christians have become public enemy number one. Over 58 million innocent babies have been legally slaughtered in the wombs of their mothers.

The homosexual agenda is promoted. gay marriage is now legal across the land. The continual influx of Muslim refugees come into our country; if Europe is a foreshadowing of things to come here – America is in much trouble. But we do need to continue in prayer for the Muslim people – that they will be freed from their satanic religion, and come to know Jesus as their Savior.

I believe that we are in the end of the end times.  Every day I expect to hear the trump sound and in the twinkling of an eye we will be in His presence!  This is the only thing that keeps my sanity intact.

This morning

Today I felt like I was in a hole. Honestly I wished that I would go back to sleep and not wake up. I hope I am not shocking my readers when I say this.  I was in deep despair.  I was thinking about my children who have fallen away from Yeshua, and what they will go through. I was thinking about Israel, especially after I was contacted by Ephraim. Everything was just too much to bear.

But I opened my Bible and read this:

“For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me. And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong” (2 Corinthians: 8-10)  (emphasis mine)

“And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away” (Revelation 21:4)

“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths” (Proverbs 3: 5-6).

He understands

I will still cry. I will still fight the depression.  But HE knows that I am but dust. He understands my despair.  He does not condemn me for these these things. He beckons me to come to Him and to give him all of my sorrows.

 “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.  For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light” (Matthew 11: 28-30).

He is coming soon – do not lose heart.

 “For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first: Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord. Wherefore comfort one another with these words” (1 Thessalonians: 16:18).

Shalom b’Yeshua

MARANATHA