Today I had my pre-op appointment at my GP’s office. The surgery is scheduled for April 2nd – Tuesday. The procedure is a biopsy being done because of suspicious findings from a few weeks ago.
I wish that I could tell the reader that I’ve been so positive and brave, and that I’ve been leaning on my Jesus every step of the way.
The truth is that I’ve been a wreck.
If I say the “C” word, my husband gets upset with me and tells me NOT to confess that from my mouth.
So, then I feel ashamed that I don’t have the faith I should have. I ask the Lord to please forgive me and help me to look to Him alone during this trial.
The usual nurse came to get me from the waiting room. I like her so much. She is always smiling and bubbly. She calls me sweetie.
She took my vitals and then had to get the ECG ready to test my heart. The computer system was acting up, so it was taking longer than usual. She asked me about my heart. I told her about the various problems I have. But then I said to her “But I have a loving heart.”
The nurse said to me “Well that’s most important!” I responded “It’s loving because Jesus lives there.” She turned to me with a smile and told me that He lives in her heart too.
My eyes filled with tears and the nurse hurried over to me. I told her that the surgeon suspected cancer. She looked into my eyes and said “Cancer? You do NOT have cancer!” Tears were rolling down my cheeks and this heaven-sent nurse took my hands and prayed the most powerful and beautiful prayer I’ve ever heard.
We then hugged. I knew at that moment that this had been arranged by the Lord. It had to be. I felt the presence of Jesus everywhere. And I saw Him shining from the beautiful face of this sister in Christ. She told me that she was putting my name on a card by her computer and that she would pray for me every day.
After a long talk with my GP and lots of blood work, I was ready to go. My husband was waiting for me.
The “angel” nurse (I called her that) hurried over to me and she said “I’m going to call you, is that okay?” I told her that I would love that. She smiled and hugged me again – right in front of the other nurses.
We were oblivious to those around us. We knew that Jesus was there – where two or more are gathered – and that He was well pleased.
I don’t want the reader to think that I know the outcome to the upcoming biopsy. Many Christians get cancer and many have died from this insidious disease.
But, you know what? Whatever happens will be God’s will. If no cancer, then I will give Him all the Glory! If I do have it and eventually succumb to it and die, then I will see my glorious Savior and my dad whom I led to the Throne of Grace the very night of his death. I will also see my dear sister in Christ, Joy. I’ve been missing her every day since she went to heaven.
“For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain. But if I live on in the flesh, this will mean fruit from my labor; yet what I shall choose I cannot tell. For I am hard-pressed between the two, having a desire to depart and be with Christ, which is far better” (Philippians 1:21-23).