This will be a piece unlike others I have written. It will not be on current events and how they are tied to Biblical prophecy. It will not be on the apostasy which has run rampant through the church, causing so many to fall away from the faith.
I will write about the sorrow which seems to have taken up residence in my heart and my mind. I am not writing for the reader to feel sorry for me. I believe that the Lord has urged me to open my heart so that others may see my struggles. I do not know why God would want me to do this, but I must obey Him.
So many times we hear the brethren say “Read the Psalms – they will help you.” This is true, you know. So many times David was in such utter despair, he seemed on the verge of giving up. There wasn’t a Commandment that David did not break. And yet the Lord called him “A man after His own heart.”
David’s humanity gives me hope in dark times. His love for the Lord, and his godly repentance brought him time and time again to God’s throne. There he would prostrate himself and confess to God that he sinned against Him and Him alone. God loved David’s heart.
O Lord, I have sinned
Satan loves to remind me that I fell away for a time after I was born again. He made me believe for many years that God would not take me back. I wasn’t reading the Word as I should have been back then, so I had no defense against the accusations of the evil one.
I cried out to the Lord for almost 7 years. I would say to Him “God I know that I am not worthy and I wonder if You have forsaken me. I would not blame you Lord. But I want to come back because there is no other place to go. The only time that I felt joyful and complete was when I walked with You. Lord, will you take me back?”
I began to read Psalms and I had never felt so close to God in all the years since I was born again. I saw in those Psalms the same sorrow, heartache and hopelessness in David as I was feeling. But I saw something else. I saw forgiveness – not forgiveness from an earthy father, but the kind of forgiveness which can only come from my Father in heaven.
“For as the heavens are high above the earth,
So great is His mercy toward those who fear Him;
As far as the east is from the west,
So far has He removed our transgressions from us.
As a father pities his children,
So the Lord pities those who fear Him.
For He knows our frame;
He remembers that we are dust” (Psalm 103:11-14).
He knows that we are Dust
Yes, He knows our frame and how weak we can be when we are not walking with Him. He knows that the enemy roams about the earth, just seeking his next victim. But God loves us with an everlasting love – and it is unconditional. No earthly father can love us this way. Only our Father in heaven.
Still, there is sorrow
Some mornings I open my eyes and I can feel them tearing up. I don’t want to be here anymore. I want to be with the Lord Jesus. I want to be away from this horribly wicked world. Is this selfish? Maybe it is. But as I said, I am opening my heart to the reader. I want my brethren to know that the struggles that we face – we face together.
“Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall. No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it” (1 Corinthians 10: 12-14).
When I first heard this song – written and sung by Squire Parsons – I wept. All the yearning and aching in my heart to see Jesus in heaven; to be snatched away by Him and taken to my real home – THAT is our Blessed Hope. THAT is what we desire every day…….every minute.
We walk around on this guilty sod, knowing that this is definitely NOT our home. But He is coming and I believe that He is coming soon. Only His Father knows the appointed time, but this I do know: It will be the perfectly planned time to bring us home.
Sweet Beulah Land
No sad goodbyes will there be spoken
For time won’t matter anymore.
And some day (And some day) on thee I’ll stand (Someday we will stand)
There my home (There my home) shall be eternal (Eternal)
Beulah Land, sweet Beulah Land
To where my faith, shall end in sight (Shall end in sight)
There’s just a few more days to labor.
Then I will take my heavenly flight.